Sometimes emotions are hard to detect

Communication can be verbal or physical and can involve words, looks or postures. In relationships people get to know each other thoroughly and the longer they are together the easier it is to recognize different degrees of emotion.

Maybe because they're complex or they're trying to be hidden, emtions are sometimes hard to detect. There may also be cultural differences in the way different feelings are expressed. In general, communication helps give other people clues about what you're thinking or feeling.

Being completely open and honest with each other can be difficult. The following strategies may be helpful:

• Find an appropriate time to talk
• Minimize any disruptions (eg. turn off the tv and phone)
• Acknowledge your partner's feelings (eg. "I can see why that upsets you")
• Repeat back the main points of what your partner is saying back to them to check you have understood it
• Don’t interrupt unnecessarily - let each other say what needs to be said
• Ask questions if you don’t understand what your partner says
• Be aware of your tone and body language - posture and facial expressions can give clear messages
• If you can't agree on something, agree to disagree and maybe revisit the topic when you've both had time to think about it
• Be honest from the beginning but also be sensitive to her feelings - he may not need to know that your last boyfriend was much better in bed than he is

More info

Contact: ACON’s Gay Men's Education Team

ACON runs workshops with gay men that cover topics including relationships. Please get in touch with ACON’s Gay Men’s Education Team to find out what workshop works best for you.

Tel: (02) 9206 2000
Freecall: 1800 063 060
Hearing Impaired: (02) 9283 2088

Email: groups@acon.org.au