A healthy relationship is built on a foundation of trust, respect, compromise, and understanding for one another and being comfortable in each other’s company. Healthy relationships can experience problems from time to time and working through them together is part of being in one. Relationships between men often share similar challenges to other types of relationships, although the added pressure of discrimination against same-sex relationships in the form of homophobia can sometimes add extra pressure and challenges.

Problems can occur from any range of areas including not liking each others friends and families, employment and financial issues or difficulties with sex. Regardless of what the problem is, its important to raise it and work though it. Just because the problem may seem big to you it doesn’t mean that it can’t be worked though

Think about what you want

There are many types of relationships and what is right for some in a relationship isn’t for others. Identifying problems in your relationship will depend on your own boundaries and agreements with your partner or partners. It's important to consider what you want and don’t want in a partner and in a relationship on your own. In other words, you must identify your own boundaries in a relationship for yourself. Some guys may not want a partner who smokes or takes illicit drugs. For others it may be the opposite. Some guys may feel it is important to share similar political views, others are happy to agree to disagree. For some guys having an open sexual relationship is important where others want monogamy. Often gay gays are in sero discordant relationships (where one partner is positive and the other is negative) and this raises particular issues.  Identifying what you want in a partner and within a relationship is crucial to helping you identify and respond to problems in relationships.

ACON have a range of programs that might be able to assist you in regards to relationship, from finding out what types there to getting help with specific relationships issues, as a couple or individual.  We run a range of peer education workshops on relationships, for details contact sgep@acon.org.au.

Same-sex domestic violence

As much as some boundaries differ for everyone in relationships, ongoing abuse or violence in a relationship is a different issue and same-sex relationships are not immune from domestic violence. Being the victim of same-sex domestic violence is a serious issue and there are many avenues for accessing information and support if you're the victim of same-sex domestic violence. ACON has services for victims of same-sex domestic violence, including emergency accommodation, counselling and case-management support.

Web: ACON's Lesbian and Gay Anti-Violence Project

Web: ACON Counselling

More info

Contact: ACON’s Gay Men's Education Team

ACON runs workshops with gay men that cover topics including relationships. Please get in touch with ACON’s Gay Men’s Education Team to find out what workshop works best for you.

Tel: (02) 9206 2000
Freecall: 1800 063 060
Hearing Impaired: (02) 9283 2088

Email: groups@acon.org.au